One of the most important traits that a person can have is resilience. I believe it applies to babies, toddlers, kids, teens and adults alike.
A person who is resilient will learn to try again. They will work for what they want. They will try again. They will view failure as a part of the process, rather than the end of it.
So we are raising our kid to be resilient.
When he was only a couple of weeks new to the world, we set about waiting to pick him up when he cried. We waited to REACT. We were trying to figure out what the cries meant, and we knew that would never happen if we picked him up with every peep.
But, we had other plans as well. We wanted him to learn that a cry wouldn’t have us running to him. He quickly figured out how to wait to be picked up and how to soothe himself. I’m not saying we stood there watching him cry, but we also didn’t drop the hot pan of dinner mid-oven-removal to coddle him either. Yeah, we know it is a controversial topic. I am sorry if you disagree, but …
We have an extremely well-adjusted 19 month old on our hands, which we believe is a result of this. We have continued with this approach. He falls? We wait. If he starts crying his “hurt” cry, we will run! But usually, he gives a whimper, picks himself up, takes a deep breath, and continues on playing.
This wasn’t easy. To this day, it isn’t easy. It also means that we let him take risks. We let him try different ways of climbing stairs (with us right there, don’t worry); we let him run across the yard when we know it is full of branches from the winter and poop from the dogs; we let him climb onto the couch and see what he can do.
Who would you rather work with in your work place? Someone who can’t move past a hurdle, or someone who keeps on going?